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Facebook – so unmadHarasi

December 28, 2010

Apart from increasing pollution, ruined weather, spoilt politics and growing beer belly what bothers me these days are the viruses in facebook and the hacked accounts. “This guy must be stoned to death”, “I sent you a smiley”, “360 °C images” and all that. Ku. Ranganathan got the dot(.) between his initial and name removed. Creative hacker, no? Must be some non-linguist, that didn’t like profile names written in regional languages.

Abhishek Jha got a two letters added at the end.

So, I decided to safeguard my dignity and my so-far-virgin Facebook only to find Zuckerberg and some of the IITians working under him are so unmadharasi. The Account protection-security boosting-viral immunizing procedure goes like this –

Step 1: Enter alternate email ID. In case my FB account and the primary email ID both get hacked, FB will send a recovery password, Food pottalam (Food Packet) from Helicopter or something. Why would both get hacked? Hmmm Mark is up to something.

Step 2: Enter alternate mobile number. Sorry. The only one I have been having for years is lying in a corner jobless, ignored and uncharged. I hate it when people call it Manmohan. Option FAIL

Step 3: Now it gets interesting. You have to save an answer to any of the questions listed. No, you can’t have a personalized question. In cases where it is allowed, I have entered “Your name?” as the question.  But Facebook is smarter. Overcoming the exam-fear I went ahead to answer any of them.

Q1. What was the name of your first pet?

Are you kidding? We micro-middle class Tambrahm madHarasis living in 500 sq.ft rented homes near Perungalathur never have pets. They are only for those rasaathie darling-nighty-clad-arrogant daughters of rich landlords appearing in movies. Next kostin.

Q2. What was the last name of your First Grade Teacher?

I forgot to tell something. Just above the drop-down list box it says “Choose a security question that only you can answer”. We madHarasis don’t have this first name, last name funda. Be it teacher or Veerappan or Karunanidhi. I remember one teacher named ‘Jeeva’ or something similar. Not sure if I will remember in future.

Q3. In what city or town was your mother born?

Mathuranthagam. Probability that I will spell it exactly same once again = 1/ 10^large number. Next.

Q4. What are the last five characters of your driver’s license?

Sorry Boss. By mistake I watched Kamal Hassan’s ‘Indian’ and refused to bribe the officer at RTO. The Inspector called me ‘mayirandi’ (A hairy guy) and black listed my name along with some ‘drunk & drive’ criminals and Highway rapists. I wouldn’t get a license in Chennai. When it was between being a madHarasi or drivers’ license, I chose to be a madHarasi.

Q5. What street did you live on when you were 8 years old?

Zucki, let me tell you something interesting about India. Some highly qualified deep fried genius of the 1970s introduced a policy that Bank employees should get transferred to different places once in 3 years. Jushht for fun. Reducing corruption, avoiding monopoly are some of the justifications given for official purposes. When Syndicate Bank was having fun with my dad, I lived more like Ghajini Surya. New things, new places every now and then. So I have studied in 5 schools, lived in 14 houses, had 2456 short term friends and school mates.

Q6. What is the first name of the first boy or girl you kissed?

EPIC FAIL

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. kodoor man permalink
    December 28, 2010 10:15 pm

    awesome read !! loved the raasathie nighty mention and the city ur mom was born, because now the new spelling is Maduranthakam 🙂

    and yes, the question 6, definitely #EPIC FAIL thaan… FB must regionalize the security options 🙂

    • sreevatsa1 permalink*
      December 29, 2010 12:34 pm

      Raasathie Darling nighties inspite of being a product for the upper class, used to feature B grade item girls as models. Sad, I cant find those Ads on net.

      And there are more complex places to be born. Alappuzha. Raatinaangayiru for example 😛

  2. Sunil permalink
    December 28, 2010 10:43 pm

    Semma!!:D

    • sreevatsa1 permalink*
      December 29, 2010 12:34 pm

      Thanks sunil. But I still have my doubts in hair matters. 🙂

  3. December 29, 2010 2:31 am

    College la sokkaa keera(shirt kizhiyara) time la indha madri soakka keera(nalaa irukara) post padicha happy ah keedhu. continue.

    • sreevatsa1 permalink*
      December 29, 2010 12:36 pm

      ahhahahah,,,, Mr.MBA na summava,,, Have fun

      • February 26, 2011 5:52 am

        eduku ipo mba elam izhukara… alududuven.

  4. pavithra permalink
    December 29, 2010 11:02 am

    hmmmmm….. ur license rejection s a tragedy….. but u wont believe it (even in 2010)…. i got my license without bribbing…… 😉

    • sreevatsa1 permalink*
      December 29, 2010 12:37 pm

      Yes,,, No one likes to see a real life Ambi. I guess even the RTO officers should be transfered frequently. 🙂

  5. Srividhya permalink
    December 29, 2010 12:55 pm

    Awesome!!! 🙂

  6. prasanna permalink
    December 29, 2010 6:01 pm

    Gud one da…

  7. Mc Neill Ivan S permalink
    December 31, 2010 9:43 pm

    The answer to Question 6 to almost same for most of us..

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